How did we survive childhood?

This poor lad from Argentina swallowed a party horn and now...he honks. Look! 

Now, the whistle has been removed and he is completely fine (apart from having evidence forever that he once swallowed a party horn and spent the day honking for various medics before they removed it).

How did we ever survive being children? How did the listeners of the Early Breakfast Show ever survive being children? Look what they ate and got stuck in! 


  • Paula speaking of things kids swallow, I once ate an entire packet of athletes foot cream when I was 3. I was fine!"


  • “Paula I once got my head stuck in a railing when I was around 6. The fire brigade was out at the farm helping my dad to get my fat head through the railings – thank god camera phones weren’t around coz I still get an awful slagging about it now (30 years later)”


  • “Paula. I had the skinnest legs. I got them stuck above the knees in a cattle grid!” - Paul


  • “Morning. I was caught eating snails in the back garden aged about 2. Shell and all!"


  • “Paula when I was 7/8 I swallowed one of my sisters over-sized 80’s earrings which just happened to be an airplane when Xrayed you could see airplane flying around my rib cage, not pleasant passing it!”


  • “I once left a green tic tac on the rim of my nostril and turned to my family to make them laugh by pretending it was a snot. Laughter soon changed to horror for my parents as the tic tac disappeared up wards from laughing so much!” - Robbie on my way to Dublin for work


  • “When I was younger I found a pea on the floor and decided to stick it in my nostril. I accidentally snorted it up - unfortunately for me it was a marrowfat dried pea and swelled up in my head with the heat from my body I needed an operation to have it removed!”


  • “Hi Paula my uncle was varnishing the cabinet when left the to get something my sister thought it was jelly setting and drank it!” - Brian in Limerick


  • “Hey Paula. My older brother was out fixing his car. He got some antifreeze from a friend and stored it in a 7up bottle. After he'd finished with the car he thought the best place to store the antifreeze would be under the stairs in the hallway. Needless to say my youngest brother came home, was feeling a bit parched after a long day delivering briquettes and decided to quench his thirst with a swig from the bottle and it was only after he'd swallowed it did he realise it wasn’t 7up.” - Jeff



  • “Paula I once ate a bee. It flew into my can of coke. I t stung me and I swallowed it with the fright. It remains the worst day of my life.”


  • “Paula I caught my child eating snails a few weeks ago. Had to fish them out of his mouth. MANKY!”


  • “A live spider. And it was not a small one.”


  • “Paula my father in law came in from the pub once night and drank a bottle of nail varnish remover thinking it was water...never even noticed. Made of cast iron apparently!” - Sclarkey76 on snapchat


  • “Hey Paula, when younger my 3 older brothers watched Huckleberry Finn and decided it was good idea to pull teeth out with string and pulled my brothers’ two front teeth out! All grand now he has a fine set of gnashers!”


  • Paula, here’s a list of stuff my 4 year old has sampled since he was born: A dried cat biscuit. Sudocrem. Two bites out of a foam football. Bathwater. The cat (well, tried to)”


  • “My son, three at the time, was clearly feeling rotten but couldn't articulate what his pain was. So I asked him Can you tell me what hurts? He replied My head...shoulders...knees...and toes and then broke into the song with feeble actions as he was so sick. I had to leave the room I was laughing so much!”


  • “At my granny’s funeral, when the priest asked us all for a moment of silence to remember my grandmother, my 5 year old brother saw the priest lighting candles and started singing at the top of his lungs, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! He turned one of the saddest moments of my life into the funniest thing I've ever seen!”