The levels of petty one can only aspire to achieve

“Playing Today FM full blast through the walls after being woken up at all hours by new neighbours (who are guards!) living next door #thinwalls #drunklumps” - Lorraine  #tiredmammy'


Hashtag Drunk Lumps is my favourite ever! And the petty revenge of waking them up early to the radio is impressive – well done Tired Lorraine! However… I’m not sure you have exacted the pettiest revenge ever, believe it or not.

Have a read of these:


  • “Paula my favourite petty revenge is to drive at 10mph when some loon is up your bumper trying to overtake at every chance oblivious to any danger!”


  • “I used to work in a deli, and if someone was rude to me, I gave them the ends of the tomatoes. HAHA!”


  • “Paula DON’T READ MY NAME OUT - I sign up my boss's work email on adult sites”


  • “A drunk lad woke me up to try to fight me one night in a hostel. I was cleaning up in the morning and he was asleep on the couch. I took his Nike trainers and put them in the lost property. Ha!”


  • “Hi Paula, my Father-in-Law once put a raw egg in a cup of tea that he made for me. Didn't see it till the end as it didn't change the taste of it, nearly got sick when I saw it. So as a petty revenge, when he fell asleep on the couch, I put two small pieces of Sellotape over his glasses lens so that when he woke up he thought everything was blurry! I had my fun watching him rubbing his eyes for 20 minutes!” – Tom in Sandyford


  • “Paula. We stayed in Las Vegas and the hallway of our rooms was so noisy with people banging doors and stuff. We had to be up at 4am for a flight so on leaving we turned all their Do not Disturb signs to early 5 am wake call. Payback!” - David from Longford


  • “Morning Sweet P! Long time ago I had the neighbours from hell, so, was away for two weeks holiday and set the plug socket timer to come on at 01.45 for 30 mins n again at 03.30 with the Radio blaring...Sorted them out nicely! They didn't speak to me after that BUT there was never a bother from them again!” – Shay


  • “This fella I considered a friend started dating my ex a week after we broke up. Jokes on him because I still haven't accepted his friend request on facebook!”


  • “I was playing a darts match in a local pub years ago Paula and as I threw my darts a guy in the bar kept making a farting sound. I knew who he was so when I left to go home I stuck a dart in his car tyre and gave him a slow puncture!” - Al


  • “Good morning Paula, so it was a hot summer a few years ago, I had two bottles of diluted fruit juice in two of them green sprite bottles, came in to the canteen for my lunch and noticed one of my bottles sitting empty on top of the fridge, I let it go until the same thing happened the following day so I talked with my work mate and we hatched plan, bought a laxative from the pharmacy and put it into the bottles. It was again taken but stopped there and then. I can only hope he suffered even just for a moment.”


  • “We were updating computer system at work. Had to stay until 2 at night to close the building. Boss kicked off next day cause I never got around to doing a favour for his friend. Changed his PC password every night on way home. He would arrive in an hour before me each day and could not access it. #dontmesswithme!”


  • “Hi Paula, a few years ago my teenage son decided to paint his white bedroom locker with pillar red nail varnish, that despite my best efforts did not completely clean off. I was so annoyed that I painted his fingernails with the same nail polish while he slept and then I hid the nail varnish remover. He had to head off to school wearing gloves. He has never touched nail varnish since!”


  • “If a customer is mean to me, I slam their coffees down. I also walk slower when doing things for them, and give them the smallest pastries!”


  • “I work on a bar, and any customer who is an ass to me, I fill their glass with ice so they get less drink, or give them a small piece of lemon. HA!”


  • “I've noticed that the customers that are the biggest bleeeeps are the ones who order skinny lattes or light frapps (I work at a well known coffee franchise). On bad days, I'll put full fat milk in their drinks!”


  • “Morning sweetp! In school a few years ago there was a Gaeltacht scholarship up for grabs, one place in our class. I was rubbish at Irish but really wanted it as I heard it was good crack. Anyway, when I put my hand up for an application form I could hear sniggers and snide remarks from these two smug girls in particular. Just the three of us applied, and I collected the forms a week later to give to the teacher. Two of the applications got lost on the way! I got the scholarship and had the best summer in 2007, and still have friends from the Gaeltacht!”


  • Knew a guy who put up posters of a cat (pretty average looking cat) that said "have you seen this cat?" with the number of a work colleague he couldn’t stand.. Yer man got constant calls from drunk people who had seen a similar looking cat!”


  • “We were sitting by a pool once, and a woman stood over my wife and started spraying sunscreen all over herself - and my wife. We asked her nicely to please move and she ignored us and kept spraying. When we left, I took one of her flip flops with me!”


  • “I put glitter in my housemate’s laundry in university – I had enough of his homophobic jokes. I put half a vial into each of his loads of laundry. He was fabulous for months afterwards” – Dara Kildare


  • “I once signed someone up to the Daniel O’Donnell fan club. Obviously the site gets a lot of messers as it’s changed the way it operates as I tried to do it again recently!” Ger in Cork