Wedding Afters: How Irish People Feel About Being Invited
In the days leading up to Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s wedding, and particularly in light of how her family has behaved, they may wish they could slip away and get married in a much quieter affair.
I can verify there is nothing as lovely as waking up next to your betrothed on your wedding morning and having a really relaxing morning of pampering before going to City Hall and tying the knot, no stress, no fuss! Just two people getting married exactly how they want.
Regular listener Mick disagreed, saying he and his wife invited the whole village and had the best day ever! Everyone does it differently, and the hope is that everyone has the best day ever.
On Saturday, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry will host 600 people who will stand around eating “bowl food” for their reception, and 200 of those will be invited to a “proper” meal in the evening. This is like the reverse of an Irish wedding, which is generally ceremony, meal, afters (party.)
The “afters” is one element to an Irish wedding that is pretty divisive. Is it a slight on someone if you’re “only” invited to the afters? Is it better? Massively divided opinions on this!
- “Paula I think yourself and Mick are over-thinking it. If there’s a party, what’s the harm in inviting anyone and everyone!”
- “Paula my father calls an invite to the afters of a wedding the Plate Lickers!”
- “Good morning Paula. With regards to inviting everyone, that is exactly what happens in India. They do invite the whole village! A wedding with 600 guests is small; typical is north of 800 and not at all unusual to be more than 1000! A colleague of mine got so fed up, he left his own wedding after the third day!” - Vince
- “I'm actually happier to get an invite only to the afters. You get to congratulate the couple and you save on the usually boring ceremony and speeches!”
- “It depends on how well you know the couple and how far away the venue is. If the afters is ages away, it’s a bit like the couple are hoping you won’t come, I think!”
- “You get to dance and enjoy the party while missing all the boring bits. It's a night out!”
- “Morning Paula. I know of a lad that had 500 people sit down at his wedding. When he got home from the honeymoon he went to his local, where he got a round of abuse from someone complaining that he “invited the whole country but not me”. You can never win with an Irish wedding!” Cheers, Conor
- “Paula I haven’t RSVP’ed YES to a wedding in 13 years and until my own children get married, I don’t plan to!” - Tom in Wicklow
- “If you think I'm not good enough to see you tie the knot, there's no way I'm going to watch you make an eejit of yourself at 2am!”
- “Don’t care about the afters Paula but if I'm not getting fed, don't expect the usual cash in the envelope, which is ridiculously expensive!”
- “Afters are the best bit. You get great grub (the afters now have mini burgers, goujons and sometimes the food is better than the main meal!)”
- “Paula I’m getting married next week (25th) so finding all the responses so funny!” - Teresa
- “Morning Paula. Hope u are well. Getting married April next year. Sent Save the Date invites to the crowd in Australia thinking none of them would come. Two weekends ago they all met up for a few scoops and they all decided to come. Guest listed has shot up. 40 Aussies on the way!”
- “The way I look at it is: If I'm not good enough to be invited to the wedding, I'm not good enough to be invited to the afters! And also I don’t want to be invited to the wedding anyway!”
- “Paula we’ve been invited to afters next month. Wife is going mad saying she’d rather not go at all. I know she’ll come around but now I wonder; do you bring a gift to afters?” – no! It’s just a disco!
- “I dislike weddings but I like a party. So the Afters is perfect.”
- “Paula, someone is always gonna take issue with something... Do it your own way!” - Dermot