Finally it’s Friday and I’m really looking forward to spending time with my 4 year old girl. Oh wait...should I say that? It was such a comment that has brought me here in the first place.
It’s been a mad week. Completely mad. Two things stand out. Firstly my 80 year old Dad calling to congratulate me on ‘my virus’ (instead of the story going 'viral'). Secondly, explaining to an American journalist what the term ‘tosser’ means.
A lot of people have read the story about what happened so I’ll make it short. I was trolled by a guy who suggested if I missed my child so much while in work then why not just give up my job? I thought long and hard about whether I should respond or not, but couldn’t get it out of my head. So this day last week I wrote him a letter and then tweeted it.
I was trolled earlier this week by a guy who thinks I shouldn't have a baby AND a job.
Here's what I think - pic.twitter.com/8SKBtsHhNy
— Susan Keogh (@suskeogh) January 29, 2016
I’m completely floored by the reaction – moved and overwhelmed. Turns out I’m not the only one who feels torn about being a mother AND having a career.
The letter was retweeted over 700 times and liked more than 1,500 times. It appeared on the Irish Independent, The Daily Mail, Cosmopolitan, the Huffington Post and many other sites.
One even included a Britney GIF. Life. Made.
On Tuesday I spoke to Anton Savage here on Today FM about why I wrote the letter.
We also took this really nice picture for our Christmas cards next year.
I also went on TV3’s Ireland AM. The idea of going on the TV and putting myself out there terrified me. What if people thought I was an asshole? What would I wear? How fat would I look? All of those things went through my head. But I did it and now I’m glad. You can watch it back here
The amount of feedback I’ve received is incredible. It hasn’t all been positive. I was told I was overreacting and that I shouldn’t choose a future ski trip over spending time with my child now. I was called a middle class Dub (I’m from Kildare) and ‘a material girl’.
But I was also called ‘an awesome mama’, ‘a hero’ and ‘a role model’. None of which I am. But I am doing my best to be a good Mum and have a career. People have been so kind and supportive towards me in their messages.
I’ve heard from people here in Ireland, the UK, the States, Brazil and Italy – to name just a few. I’ve heard from women who feel judged for having a career, those who feel judged for staying at home, stories of conflict, turmoil and lot and lots of guilt. I read some of those messages with tears in my eyes – just to know that other people feel the same.
@suskeogh As a working mom too I hear it all the time as well. Your letter was well written and articulate. Thank you!
— Beltkiss Sanborn (@BilquisOconPR) February 3, 2016
@suskeogh couldn't love more your words ... I can only feel shame and pity for this man. Best regards from Brazil.
— Graziela Guernelli (@Graguernelli) February 3, 2016
@suskeogh you did us all proud this morning. Well done x
— Sonia Deasy (@SoniaDeasy) February 2, 2016
@suskeogh amazing reply.sad fact is we shouldn't have to explain WHY.It should be understood.Until then,let's keep the conversation going
— Trish (@reservedforruby) February 2, 2016
@suskeogh My dad worked 3 jobs so that my mom could take care of us.I think I'd prefer both of them working, cause my dad was always out :)
— Anna(The Redhead) (@_crazyredhead) February 2, 2016
I don’t know what the answer is to all of this. To find one was never my intention. But I am glad that people are at least talking about it. Surely that’s a start.
Earlier today I got a message from a close friend of mine. She moved to Perth in Australia 10 years ago. She’s got a lovely husband and a great career and she often worried about what might happen if a baby came along. She texted to say she's 16 weeks pregnant. The letter made her feel a little less crazy about the road ahead.
It felt like the perfect end to a very crazy week.
To everyone who reached out to me - it meant a lot.
Thanks - from me and the 'Flower Lady'
Susan & Faith x
