It’s hard not to allow your entire soul glaze over with promises being thrown at us like confetti. They all begin to melt into one meaningless drone.

We got the harps and wobbly edit machine out here at Today FM HQ and started to form our own dream party. A party that listens AND speaks to the issues that reeeeeeally matter to the good people of this fair land.

Oh and needless to say Brendan Gleeson would be Taoiseach...FOREVER!

So here’s the basic manifesto of Fianna Brionglóid – The Dream Party

<< Spice Bag Day >>

Alongside such established national institutions such as Paddy’s Day and Pancake Tuesday, there would be a day to celebrate our new national dish...The Spice Bag. Take Away outlets around the country would run deals and there would even be a song ... a reworking of ‘Spice Up Your Life’ of course.

<< The ‘You Talk You Walk’ policy >> 

The level of talking at gigs in this country is reaching crisis point. This much needed policy would allow for the installing of marshals at venues whose sole purpose is to police these loud ejits. They would be issued with 1 warning and if their chatter persists, the marshal is legally allowed to eject them from the venue whilst shouting loudly in their ears for anything up to 1 hour. This will also be enforced in cinemas. People like this do NOT deserve nice things.

<< Spoiler Tax >>

There’s a new series on Netflix you’ve been dying to binge on. You’ve purposely waited for a free weekend to gobble it all up and then you see some clown on social media RUIN IT ALL BY SAYING SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THE ENTIRE PLOT TWIST! They will be tracked down immediately and taxed heavily at source. Extreme cases can result in having all devices impounded for a month.

<< On The Spot Annoying Word Fine >>

Yes we know that language is an ever evolving beast but there are some that simply have to go. These include:

• Hubby
• LOL
• Haps
• Bants/Bantz
• Obvs
• Chillax
• Staycation
• Awesomesauce
• Bae
• Soz
• Amazeballs

*On the spot fines can and will be issued*

<< The stamping out of young lads walking about with their hands down their trackies >>

We have no idea why this has become a thing but the young men of this country need to stop this plague on common decency. Offenders will be forced to take mandatory basic hygiene courses with the prospect of repeat offenders being forced to wear prank electrifying buzzers on their hands. This will soon put manners on them! 

<< The regulated return of 'The Slow Set' >>

This scribbler hasn’t darkened the sticky carpet of a nightclub in some time but a quick straw poll amongst the younger members of staff has brought up some frankly tragic results. The very notion of their Bieber-inspired moves being interrupted for some ‘get down’ time was met with disbelief, and in some cases, outrage. Tough!

Every single dance emporium will be required to incorporate a minimum 3 love song quota in their DJ’s playlists with incentives being offered for the inclusion of any of the following tracks:

• Take That – ‘Back For Good’/ ‘A Million Love Songs’
• Madonna – ‘Crazy For You’
• Percy Sledge – ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’
• Richard Marx – ‘Right Here Waiting’
• Eric Clapton – ‘Wonderful Tonight’
• Aerosmith – ‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’

Now tell us....what would YOU include in the manifesto?

DARE TO DREAM...DARE TO VOTE FIANNA BRIONGLÓID!