The Biggest Savages In Ireland Spill Their Most Shameful Secrets
You can’t blame pregnancy for everything, but I’m certainly trying. I remarked to my friend that I had turned into such a savage of late, when she pointed out that I was always a savage. Ouch, but true.
A particular low point yesterday was when I was packing the shopping into the boot of my car and spotted the yogurts I just bought. I couldn’t wait, so I tore off the lid, tipped my head back and squeezed the carton from the bottom, straight down the hatch. In the car park of a Lidl.
Am I the only one who’s ever pretended they’re getting food for someone else as well as myself in McDonald’s, because I don’t want the cashier to think I’m a total greedy-guts? The Early Breakfast listeners didn’t leave me hanging... thankfully!
- “Hi Paula. When I was young, free and single, I used to order 3 burgers after a night out. 2 for right then and one to take home for breakfast the next morning.” - Nigel, in Warrenpoint
- “Went to a restaurant while my wife went to the gym! I ordered so much food that the waitress put two sets of cutlery on the table and asked me did I want to wait for the other person. I reluctantly said no, no... that’s all for me. The look of shock on her face was priceless!” - Graham McCabe in Kilkenny City
- “A couple of years ago, I woke up and found half a wopper with cheese under my pillow. I presume I was saving it till the morning.. just wish I had wrapped it first!” - John in Cork
- “Paula, my stages of eating pizza -1) I ate way too much. 2) I’m full. Why am I still eating? 3) One more bite. 4) Just 3 more slices. I can’t stop!”
I ate a Chinese before with my lazer card 😳— karen furlong (@kfurlong45) April 23, 2018
- “Paula, I checked out my order history with Just Eat in December, interested to see how much I spent on take away food for the year. Nearly fell off my (soon to be reinforced!) chair when I discovered the grand total was just under 1200 euro.”
- “Paula I regularly buy the M and S dine in for 2... and break the rules because it’s just me. They’re not that big!”
- “Paula 3 weeks ago I decided enough was enough and decided I would keep a food diary to see where I was going wrong. Not joking, first entry was: 9:04 AM: Ate a cheesecake.”
- “I'm at my most desperate when food comes but it's too hot to eat.”
- “Paula I find that instead of eating three large meals a day, break it up and eat 47 smaller ones.”
- “Hi Paula, myself and the husband would go out running to try and be healthy, and we couldn’t figure out why we weren’t losing any weight. So we’d burn about 250 calories on the run... then reward ourselves for our hard work with an Eddie Rockets. Turns out the drink alone (a chocolate malt) was 1100 calories! Oops!” - Seánna and Alan heading to work in Kildare
- “Hi Paula,,I also wanted a yoghurt once and had no spoon so I bit a banana into a spoon shape ate the yoghurt and then ate my new spoon!” - Mike
- “Morning Paula, last week the first day we had sunshine I had to stop for an ice cream on the way home from work. Got back on the road but felt like I hadn't enough so stopped again 5 minutes later for another one!”
- “One night after a few pints I arrived home to bare cupboards so ended up eating a jar of sweet and sour sauce with a spoon. Delicious.” - J
- “My in-laws call me the insinkarator because I’ll eat anything that’s on the table - the kids leftovers and all! Best thing is I’ve been the same weight for 25 years.” - Cheers, Conor
- “Save 4,000 calories by going to bed at 7pm!”
- “Paula I actually genuinely cannot share food. I HATE when I’m asked, do you want to share XYZ. No, I’ll have mine and you have yours.”
- “Hi Paula about 15 years ago I was wobbling out of Hayes's hotel in Thurles , starving. Abrakebabra was full, Supermacs was full and I ran into my cousin Philip with chips. I put my hand in the bag to get a chip and the bag tore, so we sat on the curb eating chips off the road.” - Francis in Tipp