5 Things That Irish Men Secretly Love
The Irish Man...a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a checked shirt! We baffle and bewilder, delight and disappoint in equal measure it’s fair to say but for better or worse you’re stuck with us. Sorry about that!
We may consider ourselves all moody and mysterious but really it’s often more complicated to win at connect four than working out the great workings of an Irish lad’s mind but we thought we’d give you a little insight into some of the things Irish men secretly love!
1. Buying Deodorant
From the very first pulsations of puberty, Irish men form a close and lifelong bond with their deodorant. From the primal appeal of Lynx Africa to being forced to borrow your dad’s can of Brut, us lads take the choosing of our odour very seriously. Standing before that particular shelf in the supermarket can often eat up a good chunk of our allotted time and if your partner is wondering where you’ve wandered to, well we’d recommend heading to that aisle, where you will find us squirting and sniffing as if we were at the perfume counter in Brown Thomas.
2. Gossiping
The rather simplistic and old fashioned stereotype would have it that gossiping is a realm ruled by women but this tedious tenet is as inaccurate as it is lazy. Irish men are in fact as greedy for the goss but they simply refuse to accept or reveal this fact. It just takes one lad to leave a group to go to the bar for him to become the subject of a furious 5 minute exchange of information and innuendo. The difference being is that they are entirely less honest and truly more sneaky about it. They’ll feign reluctance and sympathy but there’s no mistaking the gossipy glee.
Kevin: My round lads...same again!
Tom: Ah sound man Kev...yeah same again
Gav: Cheers Kevin...
(Kevin heads up cheerily to the bar)
Tom: Ah he’s pity really...
Gav: Oh?...go on...
Tom: Ah no no...I’m not one to gossip
Gav: Oh I know sure....
(pause)
Tom: Well...that girl he met on tinder last week. The pharmacist with the 141 D BMW M5...well he hasn’t heard from her since. Well wasn’t I on the way to training and I saw her get into a Audi A6 at the Applegreen
Gav: Go on...
Tom: Ah I’m not one to talk about a man but she looked very comfortable with yer man...laughing and she was dressed like they were going for dinner
Gav: Stop! Ah Kevin is a sound lad but he’d need to start looking after himself in fairness.
Tom: Oh sure that shirt is bet onto him....he’s not been right since Rachel.
Gav: Oh sure I know...she was bad news that one anyway...ah Kevin good man...
Tom: Ah sound Kevin...we were just saying that Mourinho is an awful ejit after that carry on at West Ham...
3. Weddings
Oh Irish men will roll their eyes and whinge on about the inconvenience, the expense, the hassle and the hullabaloo involved but secretly they absolutely love a good wedding. If there is any doubt about this. Who is more likely to be lepping about with one trouser leg pulled up and a tie wrapped around their red sweaty heads to the strains of Thunderstruck at the end of the night? Case.Closed.
4. Getting their hair done.
We will often mock and sneer at the effort and expense women go to get their hair did and will often point at their own bonce and exclaim smugly ‘€12 in Pat’s Barbers’ but beneath this self satisfaction and seeming indifference let there be no mistake...Irish men love getting their hair done. We will scoff at the ladies having the one and only salon and hairdresser they trust but we are just as particular. We’ll sit down and happily peruse the complimentary copy of the Sun, blissfully watch a bit of Sky Sports News and wait for ‘our’ guy to become free because let me assure you, we too have only have one hair professional that ‘understands exactly what we need and does it perfectly’...we just pretend not to care.
5. Facebook
Oh yes Facebook is for teenage girls with their selfies and photos of people’s fancy brunches blah blah. The fact remains Irish men are just as addicted to Facebook and can very quietly and sneakily wile away hours checking up on old crushes, colleagues and the state of the new lad from accounts in his holiday snaps.
