With no less than 6 separate wedding invites arriving into Today FM staff this week, it got us to chatting about some of the things you always hear at every Irish wedding.
So before you start worrying about fitting into that suit/dress in time here’s our...
Top 5 things you’ll hear at every Irish wedding
1. ‘Were ye long getting down?’
Recent studies have shown that 87% of the first words uttered by Irish men at a wedding will involve enquiring as to how long it took to drive to the venue. This will then be followed up with a compare and contrast session regarding the merits of differing routes taken.
2. ‘Isn’t her dress just stunning/gorgeous/lovely/fabulous!’
Now the bride-to-be could arrive at the church wearing some fertilizer bags tied together with bailing twine and a veil made of grease proof paper and it will be met with a ‘Oh the dress is gorgeous’. Now needless to say that whatever she has chosen there will be some amongst the congregation either delighted that it’s not as nice as the dress they have for their impending nuptials or quietly fuming that they are going to have to throw their monstrosity into the nearest barrel of fire.
3. ‘What time is the meal?’
Irish men at weddings work on a need to know basis.
When is it on?
Will that suit do?
Where do I need to drive to?
Will there be somewhere to watch the match?
Is there a free bar?
It can be a long day for the boys and once they’ve asked every single one of the 140 guests (including the bride) how they made it down, they will start to ask questions. The timing of the meal is key to the pacing of their drinking and they will ask their partners at least 3 times before they are lead to a table.
4. ‘Where are ye staying tonight?’
Nobody really cares whether you got an overpriced room at the hotel, staying in B+B in the village or a skip in the car park, they are just being polite, sleazy or need to get into the residents bar.
5. ‘More food? Lads sure I’m not even hungry...nom nom nom.’
For this writer, you can have your dress, hilarious and moving speeches, first dance and general meaningful declaration of devotion and commitment lark. The highlight is when the staff sweep through the venue with trays of triangle sandwiches, cocktail sausages, goujons and chips. You may feel like you’ve just eaten but the very sight and smell of this snacktastic bonanza will have you shouldering the bride’s mother to get a fistful of taste triangles.
