If Christmas is a circus there are certain days that act as tent poles that keep the whole show up for the duration. The mad rush of Christmas Eve, the escape to the pub on Stephenseses night and the inevitable let down that is New Year’s Eve.
Well today marks one such day as people from beyond the pale gather as one to migrate to Dublin for the bit of Christmas shopping.
Yes it’s December 8th aka ‘Culchie Christmas’ and isn’t it a grand day for it all the same.
For the Jackeens unsure or even unaware of this annual invasion we thought we’d go through the tell tale signs that for today at least, you’re living in a Culchie Wonderland*
*it should be pointed out that this is written by a proud, Cork badge kissing Culchie.
Any form of transport that gets you to Dublin is stuffed.
People from the country would rather charter a hot air balloon or even scuba up the Liffey rather than drive into Dublin City. This real aversion means that every train and bus is going to be jammers with up to 3 generations of any one family piling on and off in a bustle of bags and a barrage of instructions.
There is simply less room in Dublin.
Space becomes as precious as a wink from Marty Morrissey on the 8th. We’re not just talking about the increase in bodies but you should also take into the account that each will be carrying at least 24 large department store bags which they will have claped in an iron grip that does not loosen until they are beyond Kildare at least.
You should have bought shares in The Kylemore, Bewley’s and the cafe in Arnott’s.
Tea is the very fuel that keeps this machine on the streets and in the shops. Of course every sup of it is overpriced and like dishwater but it’s great to sit down for a second.
People from the country know Dublin better than any true blue local.
Make no mistake, folks from outside the capital have a working knowledge of its highways and byways that would rival a 93 year old taxi man. They may chose not to learn the street names but they can get from Parnell square to Stephen’s Green through a series of time saving tunnels in about 7 minutes....while carrying 24 huge bags.
It’s great for the day but they’d still never live in Dublin...ever!
Coming to Dublin for the 8th is a hit and run operation. Culchies will swarm in and sweep through the city with an awesome display of military organisition and execution. They know what they want, where to get it, where to find the best Santa, the most passable cup of tea, the sharpest bargains and the best spot to get a taxi back to the station. Yet let there be no illusions, as they pile cheerily back onto their transport of choice in their oversized coats and 24 bags, to a proper cup of tea at home they scarcely look over their shoulder. No it’s grand for the day!
