We're in the thick of festival season at the moment!
You're bound to meet plenty of people at outdoor gigs this summer, but the most frequent 'reveler' in attendance will be The Festigal™.
It can be tricky to spot a Festigal™, (or guy), so we've put together this comprehensive list for you.
Their wardrobe staple is a flower crown
Similar to that of a lion's mane or the hair of Samson, the flower crown is the source of a Festigal's strength. They vary from the extremely elaborate handmade variety, or the ones you get in Penneys for €4.
Other accessories include glitter, facepaint and stick-on tattoos
Again, Penneys are wholly responsible for making all of the above cheap and accessible to Festigals™ everywhere.
Orchard Thieves is their life-blood
If you are looking to track down a Festigal™, follow the trail of cans Hansel & Gretel style.
They'll only know one song ...
... Two at a push. This will be the song they sing/wail for the entirety of the show. At The Stone Roses, it was probably I Wanna Be Adored. At Kendrick Lamar this Friday at Longitude, it'll be King Kunta. At Beyoncé ... Well, Festigals tend to be well versed in Beyoncé's back catalogue. What harm though? Gigs pose great opportunities to discover new bands and favourite tracks.
They'll spend the evening on someone's shoulders
Shout-out to all the 5ft nothing Festigals™ - there's a big bad world up there that they know nothing about. If they want to stand a chance of seeing any acts, a taller Festigal™ or guy must assist. So while the Festigals™ get a prime view of Jamie XX on Sunday in Marlay Park, they end up with sore necks.
(Credit: Axwell)
They're people too, you know
Look, it's easy to rip the p*ss, but cut 'em some slack - for some, it's potentially their first concert, and they're just out for a laugh. Chances are, similar to daddy long legs, they're more afraid of you than you are of them. The focus should be on having mad craic and seeing great bands, and nothing else
