The Electric Picnic is but a face wipe away. We’ve already told you about the 5 people you are definitely going to encounter rocking about Stradbally, now it’s time to give you the heads up on some of the ‘festival phrases’ you are sure to hear amidst the tunes.
1. ‘Niamh...where are you guys?....NIAMH!!!....I’M BY THE TREE....THE TREEEEEEEE!!!’
Yes there are fewer things more audibly certain that the sound of people baying into a phone in a desperate effort to rejoin the herd. It will be often followed with a frantic hand being thrown in the air and the horrible realisation that everybody at the picnic is essentially dressed in the same clothes.
2. ‘Where are the toilets?’
This question will often be met with an ominous silence by the group. Going to the toilets at EP makes Bilbo’s quest look like a ramble around Stephen’s Green. This phrase will often soon be followed by phrase 1 in our list.
3. ‘Ya... ya... I’ve been to every Picnic’
This eye roller will be delivered with just the right amount of pride and no little smugness. A badge of honour they consider on a par with soldiers recounting tours of duty in Iraq. These lads are easily found out with a cursory ‘Oh yeah...that was the year the Bingo Badgers played?’...’Oh yeah they were amazing’. There is no Bingo Badgers...all there is a tissue of LIES!!
4. ‘Have you seen the queue for Pie Minister?
Having a Pie Minister at EP is as if not MORE important than catching a single band. A piping hot pie surrounded by mash, mushy peas, onions AND gravy in a reassuringly hearty cardboard box? It’s so Picnic they should just called it the ‘Electric Piecnic’. Mmmm...pies!
5. ‘What time are you driving back?’
There will always be at least one in your group that will have gotten down on the back of everyone else’s graft and organising. They were picked up, tent sorted, booze bought, bands chosen, face and almost arse wiped! They’ve floated about all weekend without a care and needless to say they will simply assume they will be chauffeured home and gently lowered into their bed with a hug and kiss. Leave them behind!
