Music

The Today Fm Slow Set Top 5*

The Lynx Africa haze you arrived in has long since given up and your best shirt is clinging to your...

TodayFM

9:14 PM - 19 May 2015

Music

The Today Fm Slow Set Top 5*

TodayFM

9:14 PM - 19 May 2015

The Lynx Africa haze you arrived in has long since given up and your best shirt is clinging to your back in a wet needy embrace.

Grinning breathlessly after a heady cocktail of warm beer, your head whips upward to the suddenly dimmed lights. Your heart does its own version of the Venga classic as your Heineken addled mind realises what your body already knows... we have entered the ‘Slow Set’.

For the next 15 minutes you are living on pure instinct.

The DJ, a ruthless ringmaster, heralds the beginning of these hunger games with ‘More than Words’ by Extreme. There is no time to waste.

You stand by your comrades in a seeming huddle of unity but you know as well as they do, there’s only an ‘I’ in shift.

There is much elbowing and muttering amongst you but you simply must remain on the periphery, close enough to not look like a ‘Paddy No Pals’ but with just enough distance to see and be seen. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark throbbing light and as Extreme ‘lah dee dah’ they catch a shape across the floor... ’Lah Dee Dah’ indeed!

She has strayed from her pack and is nervously emptying her Bacardi breezer through a tightly clutched straw. You must strike immediately.

Tucking your dad’s shirt into the belt of your X-Worx jeans you saunter through the space between you, deftly avoiding the planetoids of lust in your way.

You stand before her,she drains her alco-pop with a loud desperate gasp. The most beautiful creature in the cosmos, or at least The Cosmos nightclub, raises her head and dips her face to the side like a curious baby deer... in a scrunchie.

You raise your trembling hand toward hers and with a voice handed down from father to son since the time dance began utter ‘Fancy a dance?’.

The real dance begins as she expertly feigns deafness and cups her perfectly formed and hooped ear, ‘Ha?’ As you lean in you are grateful you stole a douse of your brothers Dakaar and you repeat your entreaty.

She spins away from you and your galloping heart rears up. With merciless timing Gary Barlow warbles ‘I guess now it's time for me to give up, I feel it's time...’You see her friends giggle and whisper behind their badly painted nails, all is now silent, you feel every eye and laugh is on you.

As your heart and hand drop into free fall she catches it with hers and with a final empty slurp replies, ‘Ah go on sure!’ and for the remaining 11 minutes...
YOU ARE THE GREATEST MAN THAT HAS EVER LIVED AND LOVED!
...and then the lights go up.

Ah the memories!

We sidled up to some of the Today FM presenters and shyly asked for their favourites so here be..

The Today FM Slow Setlist