Germany (5 times World Cup Winners) take on The Republic Of Ireland (7 times Eurovision Winners) tonight in a now customary ‘crucial European championship qualifier’.
Now it’s fair to say Germany have proven themselves pretty handy about the park and also being generally efficiently excellent at everything (recent emission scandals aside) but with the night that’s in it, we think it our patriotic duty to point out some things they are nicht so gut at!
Top 5 Things That We're Better Than Germany At
Football Songs
The loose-fitting tie on a t-shirt with no collar, the hands in pockets, the awful Euro-pop backing - this has all the hallmarks of a Eurovision winner. But poor old Lukas is no Johnny. A great player but even auto-tune can't save him from this aural nightmare.
...case closed!
Dancing
This is the traditional German ‘Slap Dance’...enough said!
...ahem!
Winning The Eurovision
Ireland are simply the best in The World At winning the Eurovision and with the German’s putting up this kind opposition...it’s pretty clear why!
WE LOVE YOU JOHNNY LOGAN..
Being Funny Bastards
Tommy Tiernan, Dylan Moran, Dermot Morgan, Des Bishop, Daire O Briain, Maeve Higgins...need we go on?
And Germany? As usual South Park summed it up best...
Sausages
Yes yes the Germans are very proud of their Bratwursts and Frankfurters...
but let’s be honest...they wilt into insignificant comparison to a good old Denny’s Gold medal...on batch bread...with real butter and tamata sauce...droool!
