Halloween will soon be lurching into view this weekend and love it our loathe, it seems to be becoming a bigger deal with every passing year. If you have been invited to a Halloween costume shindig, the pressure to hilarious AND topical can be immense. Gone are the days of cutting a few holes in a bin bag and borrowing your Mam’s lipstick are well and truly over as much depends on your costume eliciting as many ‘OMG THAT’S SOOO BRILLIANT’ reactions as possible or your kudos is as dead as Dracula.
The pressure is real people and if you’re sweating over what dastardly deed to don this weekend well fear not fear mongers...we have some ideas!
The Ian Madigan
This one is for the lazy amongst you (i.e the fellas). Simply dig out an Irish Rugby jersey, borrow some cheap mascara and peel an onion.
The Irish Web Summit
This one is ideal if you don’t want to actually go to the party. Simply email the host a list of demands including a free taxi to and from the gaff, free booze for the night, a seat at all times, your own bathroom and the guarantee of at least a snog. When you demands are rightfully denied just say you’re fecking off to another party. Order an Indian and stay in to watch Graham Norton.
The Saipan
Put on your best Cork accent and turn up in an absolute fouler. Complain about the noise off the doorbell, the carpet as you walk in, the wattage of the lightbulbs, the flavour of the crisps, the lack of fridge space, the toilet facilities, the attractiveness of crowd, the state and volume of the music and call the host some rude names. Then just before the party really gets started storm out.
The Adele
You’ll need a pack of Malboro lights, an old flip phone, a sheepskin rug for a coat and a wind machine. You then simply walk around to various party goers saying ‘HELLO’ in a deep cockney accent. You will be going home...alone.
The Fassbender
This one is for the boys. Go dressed normally and when a lady comes up to ask what you’ve dressed up as, simply pause, smile and say ‘Michael Fassbender’...’Wait I don’t get...ohhhhh’! You will not be going home alone.
