The FIFA World Cup kicks off in Russia this week and no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you're bound to engage in some World Cup water-cooler moments over the next few weeks.
If you don't know your offsides from your own goals, then don't fret. Fergal has a handy bluffer's guide to the World Cup 2018.
Dig out these phrases when you're in need of some last-minute World Cup bluff:
“Belgium have massive potential this year. If Hazard and De Bruyne are on form, they can break through any defence".
This'll make you sound educated and in-the-know. Just pray there's no follow up question.
"No such thing as an easy game in international football these days".
Applicable to every single World Cup game. Just don't overuse it or you could blow your cover.
“Egypt could be an underdog if Salah’s fit again. That fella scores goals for fun".
Another 'in the know' phrase. Just make sure it's when Egypt are actually playing, yeah?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
A handy one when there's been a massive score difference and/or a streaker on the pitch.
“It’ll be interesting to see whether Lopetegui’s sacking rattles the Spanish side".
Ideal for this week but use sparingly if Spain are doing well in the competition.
“Not the same watching Sweden play without Ibrahimovic”.
Another general all-rounder that's not going to invite much follow-up questions. Win win!
Always a solid when there's general disgust over a referee's decision. Just follow the crowd.
“Definitely worth putting a few bob on Croatia. They could surprise ya”.
However, if someone puts their mortgage on Croatia and comes looking for you after the competition, run a MILE!
“This World Cup will define Ronaldo and Messi’s careers."
Another phrase that's hard to argue with but one tip - familiarise yourself with what Ronaldo and Messi actually look like before you use.
“You’d nearly feel sorry for England ... if they weren’t a shower of [insert favourite insult here].”
It's ok to be a little bitter about England. Especially since we're not in the competition ourselves.
Now go forth and bluff!