As promised on today's show here are Ed's 10 Commandments of the Cinema! Here goes:
- Thou shalt not crunch, slurp or rustle – food should be eaten and not heard!
- Thou shalt not use your phone – Not just talking but the light pollution is just as bad
- Thou shall arrive on time – As Woody Allen tells us in Annie Hall films are to be watched from the beginning. Entrance during trailers is allowed.
- Thou shall not kick or rest thy feet on seat in front of you – This is not your house or a playground!
- Thou shalt keep your shoes ON! – Again we are not in your sitting room. This is a public space and there are enough smells to contend with in a cinema
- Thou shalt keep thy mouth SHUT – The technology has yet to arrive for cinemas enable voice recognition. People have paid €11 to hear your running commentary or indeed how Stacy is an eejit to be texting Gary after what he done to her! SHUT...UP!
- Thou shalt mind your offspring – The Cinema is not a crèche or a babysitter.
- Thou shalt not engage in PDA’s – The Cinema is not the back of a car, bike shed or a porn set. Much as with commandment 1...no slurping or rustling!!
- Thou shalt not litter – Having worked for a year in what was Virgin cinemas I can attest to the utter pigsty that remains after a busy screening. You bring it in...you bring it out!!
- Thou shalt not act like a cretin in the back of a schoolbus – Apart from all the rules stated there shall be no heckling, throwing of sweets/popcorn at other patrons and my own personal ‘favourite’ shadowpuppetry in the beam of the projector. Sit down, grow up or GET OUT!
