I caught up with my brother Eoin earlier on today and we were swapping ‘Christmas is going to ruin me financially’ stories. The conversation moved onto the old reliable ‘What would you do if you won the lottery?’ question and I have been daydreaming about it since. Where would I start? With €129 million in my back pocket, the sky would be the limit. I could live out all my Donald Trump dreams. Daydreams are great. Here are my favourite three......
1) The lottery
This has to be the best daydream of them all. Can you imagine winning €129 million? What would you do? How would you divvy it up? Allow your mind to wander for a minute, go on. One gloomy Tuesday morning, you are sitting at your computer, wondering how the hell you are going to pay for Paddy’s wedding gift, Lisa’s 30th pressie and the hen party in February when you realise you’ve won the lottery. You are instantly a multi-millionaire. You. The one from the little town, with the overdraft and the banger of a car. Would you scream and tell everyone? Would you throw the towel in and walk right out? If it were me (and this is just my private little daydream so I can do what I want right?!), I’d order a really fancy car and driver to ferry me around for the day. I’d collect my parents, brother and sister from work and drive straight to a luxurious getaway destination of some kind in the mountains. I have no idea where I’d even start looking for a luxurious getaway destination, but I’d get my P.A to sort it. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, I hired a P.A on the way down, Patricia, a lovely girl, very diligent. I’d split my loot with my lovely family and do all the predictable things first; pay the mortgages, buy new cars and book a big holiday for us all, a proper big deal holiday. I’d throw a good chunk to my charity of choice and then, the fun would start. Donald Trump in the house. OH YEAH! And then, just like that, you remember you are sitting at your desk, with your minus balance and no winning lottery ticket. WAH!
2) The celebrity
We all have our chosen celebrity, the no-strings option, the one you dream about marrying or at least spending one amazing night with. For me, it’s Jason Segel. I genuinely feel that if I had the opportunity to meet him, he’d fall in love with me. I know we’d be perfect together. So, the daydream begins. It’s totally plausible too, bear with me. I leave Dublin for the weekend, to get away from the city buzz (By the way, this would never happen in real life. I wouldn’t be able to afford it.) I book a rustic little cottage, with a roaring fire and a stock of expensive red wine. How fabulous?! I venture to the local pub in the sleepy village, where I find Hollywood hunk Jason Segel, nestled in the snug, drinking a whiskey on the rocks, He’s filming in Wicklow but wants to remain unnoticed by the paparazzi. We get talking and hit it off immediately. He quickly realises I’m the funniest, most beautiful but down to earth girl he’s ever met. We get married. End of story. Yea......I’m still single.
3) The body
In my daydream, I have a body to die for. I have the arse of Kim Kardashian (okay, maybe a little smaller), the stomach of Kim Kardashian, the....actually, strike that, I have Kim Kardashian’s entire body. I don’t have to work out; I’m just naturally like that, y’know? There are no stretch marks, no cellulite, no spots, and no stubble on the legs. I can wear anything and look incredible. But natural. An incredible, natural, glowing beauty. That’s achievable.
