We saw this and absolutely loved it...just for being straight up.
What would yours be? âœï¸â“ðŸ¤”ðŸ¤¥ pic.twitter.com/PHStLnKvhj
— Today FM (@TodayFM) February 8, 2018
Here's our attempts:
MUIREANN: WOMAN WITH BRILLO-PAD HAIR (yes it's that grey) who's made Seventy Five percent made of cheese. Loves plucking things. Hates doing anything outside. Seeks man with ten cats willing to watch house renovation shows on repeat.
LENNY: LARGE HAIRED GENTLEMAN looking for lady who will tolerate the odd wet towel on the bed, toenail clippings in the sink, has a tendency to mansplain and sometimes found unconciously removing nosehairs while deep into a binge watch. Good sense of tolerance a bonus.
PAMELA - NEAR MIDDLE AGED WOMAN seeking man in matching snickers workwear. Must NOT be into sports and put up with being made repeat yourself on a regular basis. Comes with baggage of living with my parents and likes sleeping outdoors.
And here are some of the brilliant Honest Classifieds you sent Muireann:
22 year old Coppers lover, seeks man with gold card who will walk to the shop for the chicken fillet rolls on a Sunday morning!
This next one has to be read while singing The Pina Colada song:
If you like curry and lager, and watching the Sunday game. If don't mind a belly and your dancing is lame. If you like eating spuds at midnight, come with me and escape. Stephen in Clondalkin!
35 year old hypochondriac, constantly thinks he’s dying, seeks female who thinks the same, may not be around long, so good times and crazy carry on is a must!
Obsessed with animals and the sea. Def a realist. Kinda think men are surplus to requirement but sure could put one to use. Bring tea, and must be prepared to watch match of the day with me, earn your keep!
Emotionally damaged sarcastic hoarder seeking strong patient partner to cook for her, compliment her daily and never ever judge her portion sizes. Celina
44yr old woman. Daycent enough looking but carrying a bit of condition. Loves cats, knitting, Tommy Tiernan and Heineken - not necessarily in that order. Can be sociable if I give myself a kick in the arse. But DO NOT show up unannounced if you value your life. Caroline, Co Kilkenny
Married father of 2 seeks adoption by billionaire couple, have spare kidneys and other parts sorted once I know which one matches me. Can be emotional ie grumpy moody hole at times. Pa in EnniS
Male 46 with mind that writes cheques body cant cash seeks lady with similar outlook for fun times
Mid thirties female, looking for man with strong arms and shoulders. I don't like public displays of affection unless really drunk, I like my own company and wine and don't want to talk to anyone in the mornings. Maura
Untrusting mature student (25) seeks similarly paranoid woman to listen to my ramblings about the youth of today. Love of un-politically correct humour, food and BDSM a must.